The Boy Scout Troop 92

Songbook

This booklet of unusual campfire songs and gross songs was compiled for Pack and Troop 92 by R. Gary Hendra, the MacScouter
April 1997

Campfire Songs

Do Your Ears Hang Low

1.  Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder 
Like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

2.  Do your ears flip-flop?
Can you use them for a mop?
Are they stringy at the bottom?
Are they curly at the top?
Can you use them for a swatter? 
Can you use them for a blotter?
Do your ears flip-flop?

3.  Do your ears hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they droop when they're wet?
Do they stiffen when they're dry?
Can you semaphore your neighbor 
With a minimum of labor?
Do your ears hang high?

4.  Do your ears hang wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Do they wave in the breeze
From the slightest little sneeze?
Can you soar above the nation
With a feeling of elation?
Do your ears hang wide?

5.  Do your ears fall off
When you give a great big cough?
Do they lie there on the ground
Or bounce around at every sound?
Can you stick them in your pocket,
Just like little Davey Crocket?
Do your ears fall off

6.  Do your ears hang wide?
Do they flap from side to side?
Do they wave in the breeze
From the slightest little sneeze?
Can you soar above the nation
With a feeling of elation?
Do your ears hang wide?

7.  Do your ears hang wide?
Can you soar and can you glide?
Can you hike the Grand Canyon
While you're touching both the sides?
Do they get nice & sore
When you're walking through the door?
Do your ears hang wide?

8.  Do your ears hang askew?
Can you use one stirring stew,
While the other's picking berries
Or making mountain dew?
Can you hold an elevator
While you signal to a waiter?
Do your ears hang askew?

9.  Do your ears fall off
When you sneeze or when you cough?
When you're sloping up the hogs, 
Do they wind up in the trough?
Would they both be gone
If Mommy didn't sew them on?
Do your ears fall off?

10.  Does your nose stick out?
Do you have a long snout?
Does it scrape on the floor?
Do you smash it in doors?
Do you poke her in the eye,
When you're trying to be sly?
Does your nose stick out?

11.  Do your eyes bug out?
Do they roll down your snout?
Do you go cross-eyed
When you're looking for a Trout?
Can you see your image clearer
Without looking in the mirror?
Do your eyes bug out?

Tie Me Kangaroo Down
The first verse is almost spoken or narrated 

There's an old Australian stockman - lying, dying...
And he gets himself up onto one elbow
And turns to his mates who are all gathered around
And he says....

I'm going, Blue; this you gotta do,
I'm not gonna pull through, Blue, 
So this you gotta do . . . 

Chorus:
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down.
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down.

Watch me wallabies feed, mate
Watch me wallabies feed.
They're a dangerous breed, mate
So, watch me wallabies feed.

Chorus

Let me wombats go loose, Bruce,
Let me wombats go loose.
They're of no further use, Bruce,
So let me wombats go lose.

Chorus

Keep me cockatoo cool, curl
Keep me cockatoo cool.
Don't go actin' the fool, curl
Just keep me cockatoo cool.

Chorus

Take me koala back, Jack
Take me koala back.
He lives somewhere out on the track, Jack
So, take me koala back.

Chorus
Let me Abos go loose, Lou
Let me Abos go loose.
They're of no further use, Lou
So, let me Abos go loose.

Chorus

Mind me platypus duck, Bill
Mind me platypus duck.
Don't let him go running amuck, Bill
Just, mind me platypus duck.

Chorus

Play your digeridoo, Blue
Play your digeridoo.
(Dying) Like, keep playing it 'til I shoot through, Blue
Play your digeridoo.

Chorus

Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred
Tan me hide when I'm dead.
So, we tanned his hide, when he died, Clyde
And that's it hangin' on the shed.

Chorus

Pink Pajamas

(To the tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic") 

Oh, I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot,
And I wear my flannel nighties in the winter when it's not,
And sometimes in the springtime, and sometimes in the fall,
I jump right in between the sheets with nothing on at all.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, what's it to ya?
Balmy breezes blowin' through ya
With nothing on at all!

Bear In Tennis Shoes

The other day, (group repeats)
I met a bear, (group repeats)
In tennis shoes, (group repeats)
A dandy pair. (group repeats)
(All) The other day I met a bear,
In tennis shoes a dandy pair.

(Continue in a similar manner with:)

He said to me, "Why don't you run,
Because you ain't got any gun."

And so I ran, away from there, 
But right behind, me was that bear.

Ahead of me there was a tree, 
A big, big, tree, Oh glory be!

The nearest branch was ten feet up,
I'd have to jump and trust my luck.

And so I jumped, into the air, 
But I missed that branch, 
on the way up there.

Now don't you fret, now don't you frown, 'Cause I caught that branch,
on the way back down.

The moral of, this story is 
Don't talk to bears, in tennis shoes.

Quartermaster's Store

There are snakes, snakes, snakes,
Big as garden rakes,
At the store, at the store.
There are snakes, snakes, snakes,
Big as garden rakes,
At the Quartermaster's Store

CHORUS:
My eyes are dim, I can not see, 
I have not brought my specks with me.
I have not brought my specks with me.

There are mice, mice, mice,
Running through the rice...

There are rats, rats, rats,
As big as alley cats...

There are spiders, spiders, spiders,
Swimming in the cider...

There are fleas, fleas, fleas,
Landing on the cheese...

There are bats, bats, bats,
Bigger than the rats...

There are beavers, beavers, beavers,
Running from the cleavers...

There are eagles, eagles, eagles,
Chasing all the beagles...

There are foxes, foxes, foxes,
Sitting on the boxes...

There are owls, owls, owls,
Eating paper towels...

There are bears, bears, bears,
With curlers in their hair...

There was butter, butter, butter
Scraped up from the gutter,

There was gravy, gravy, gravy,
Enough to sink the navy ...

There were tables, tables, tables,
With legs like Betty gables ...

There were chairs, chairs, chairs,
Floating down the stairs ...

There were lice, lice, lice,
packaged up like rice ...

There were ants, ants, ants,
Wearing rubber pants ...

There were kippers, kippers, kippers,
That go about in slippers ...

There was cake, cake, cake,
That gave us tummy ache ...

There were beans, beans, beans,
As big as submarines ...

There were eggs, eggs, eggs,
That walk about on legs ...

There were turtles, turtles, turtles,
Wearing rubber girdles ...

ETC!!!

One Sunny Day
A song/chant to do with the audience

One sunny day
(echo)
I met a bear
(echo)
Out in the woods
(echo)
A way out there
(echo)

(All)
One sunny day
I met a bear
Out in the woods
A way out there

(other verses sung in the same manner)
He looked at me
I looked at him
He sized up me
I sized up him

He said to me
Why don't you run?
I can see you
Ain't got a gun

And so I ran
Away from there
Right behind me was
That great big bear

In front of me
There was a tree
Oh my oh me
A great big tree

The nearest branch
Was ten feet up
I'd have to jump
And trust to luck

And so I jumped
Into the air
I missed that branch
A way up there

Now don't you fret
Now don't you frown
I caught that branch
On the way back down

That's all there is
There ain't no more
Unless I meet
That bear once more

Next time I saw
That great big bear
He was a rug
On the bathroom floor

Ging Gang Gooli

During the first World Jamboree B.P. was looking for a song that everyone could sing, no matter what their language was. Ging Gang Gooli was the result. It is of no language, but it means a lot of fun.  The story was apparently created later.
In the deepest darkest Africa there is a legend concerning the Great Gray Ghost Elephant. Every year, after the rains, the great gray ghost elephant arose from the mists and wandered throughout the land at dawn. When he came to a village, he would stop and sniff the air, then he would either go around the village or through it. If he went round the village, the village would have a prosperous year, if he went through it, there would be hunger and drought.
The village of War-Cha had been visited three years in a row by the elephant and things were pretty bad indeed. The village leader, Ging-Ganga was very worried, as was the village medicine man Hay-la-shay. Together, they decided to do something about the problem. Now Ging-Ganga and his warriors were huge men with big shields and spears. They decided to stand in the path of the elephant and shake their shields and spears at it to frighten it away.  Hay-la-shay and his followers were going to cast magic spells to deter the elephant by shaking their medicine bags, as the elephant approached. The medicine bags made the sound - shalawally, shalawally, shalawally.
Very early in the morning of the day the Great Gray Ghost Elephant came, the villagers gathered at the edge of the village, on one side were Ging-Ganga and his warriors, (indicate right) and on the other was Hay-la-shay and his followers (indicate left). As they waited the warriors sang softly about their leader - Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo, Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo. As they waited the medicine men sang of their leader - Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho, Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho.
And they shook their medicine bags - Shalli-walli, shalli-walli, Shalli-walli, shalli-walli.
And from the river came the mighty great gray ghost elephant's reply - Oompa, oompa, oompa...
The elephant came closer, so the warriors beat their shields and sang louder (signal warriors to stand and beat their thighs in time) - Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo, Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha, Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo.
Then the medicine men rose and sang loudly - Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho, Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho. And they shook their medicine bags - Shalli-walli, shalli-walli, Shalli-walli, shalli-walli. And the mighty great gray ghost elephant turned aside and went round the village saying - Oompa, oompa, oompa...
There was great rejoicing in the village and all the villagers joined in to sing .... Ging gang gooli....

Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha,
Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo,
Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli, watcha,
Ging, gang goo, Ging, gang goo.

Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho,
Heyla, heyla sheyla, Heyla sheyla, heyla ho.

Shalli-walli, shalli-walli, Shalli-walli, shalli-walli.

Oompa, oompa, oompa...

Waltzing Mathilda

Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong,
Under the shade of a coolibah tree,
And he sang as he watched and waited til his billy boiled
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

Waltzing Mathilda, Waltzing Mathilda,
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me,
And he sang as he watched and waited til his billy boiled,
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong,
Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee,
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tuckerbag
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

Waltzing Mathilda, Waltzing Mathilda,
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me,
And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tuckerbag,
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

Up rode the squatter mounted on his thoroughbred,
Down came the troopers - one, two, three,
Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag?
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

Waltzing Mathilda, Waltzing Mathilda,
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me,
Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag?
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

Up jumped the swagman, and sprang into the billabong,
You'll never catch me alive said he,
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

Waltzing Mathilda, Waltzing Mathilda,
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me,
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong,
You'll come a waltzing Mathilda with me.

On Top of Spaghetti
(Tune: On Top of Old Smokie)

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And onto the floor.
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush.
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And early next summer
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered
With beautiful moss,
It grew lovely meatballs
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatballs
And don't ever sneeze.

Underwear
Tune: "Over There"

Underwear, Underwear, 
How I itch in my woolen underwear. 
How I wish I'd gotten a pair of cotton, 
So I wouldn't itch everywhere. 

BVDs make me sneeze. 
When the breeze from the trees 
Hits my knees. 
Coming over, I'm coming over, 
In my gosh darned, itchy, 
Woolen underwear. 
My Leader
(Tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

My leader fell into a pothole
In a glacier while climbing an Alp.
He's still there after 50 long winters,
And all you can see is his scalp.

Chorus:
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my leader to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
O bring back my leader to me, to me.

My leader was proud of his whiskers,
To shave them would give him the blues.
They hung all the way to his ankles,
And he used them for shining his shoes.

My leader had faith in a sailboat
He had built from an old hollow tree.
My leader set sail for Australia,
Now my leader lies under the sea.

My leader made friends with hyenas,
He gave them a ride on his raft.
When a crocodile reached up and grabbed him, 
The hyenas just sat there and laughed.

My leader annoyed his dear parents
They tossed him right out of the bus.
And if we don't mend our behavior,
Why that's what will happen to us.

Chorus:

Hey Lollee 

Hey Lollee, lollee,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
Hey Lollee, lollee, 
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo. 

This is a crazy kind of song, 
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo. 
You make it up as you go along, 
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo. 

When calypso singers sing this song,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
It sometimes lasts the whole day long,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

First you invent a simple rhyme,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
Then another one to rhyme,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

While you catch on I'll sing a verse,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
Then you do one that's even worse,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

I know a boy named Sammy--C, (or use another name that rhymes)
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
He sings "Hey Lollee" in just one key,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

Tonight we've chosen another key,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
You won't be hearing from Sammy--C,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

He sings "Hey Lollee" day and night,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
It never seems to come out right,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

I know a man name Mr. Jones,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
When he sings, everybody groans,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

The singer you fast the getter it's tuff,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
To line up makes that you won't muff,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

Let's put this song back on the shelf,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.
If you want anymore you can sing it yourself,
Hey Lollee, lollee, lo.

Mary Had a Swarm of Bees 

Mary had a swarm of bees 
Swarm of bees, swarm of bees 
Mary had a swarm of bees 
and they to save their lives 
had to go where Mary went, 
Mary went, Mary went. 
Had to go where Mary went 
'Cause Mary had the hives. 

Tree Toad 
Tune: Auld Lang Syne

A tree toad loved a fair she toad
That lived up in a tree;
She was a fair three-toed tree toad
But a two-toed toad was he.
The two-toed tree toad tried to win
The she toad's friendly nod;
For the two-toed tree toad loved the ground
That the three-toed tree toad trod.

Now three-toed tree toads have no care
For two-toed tree toad love,
But the two-toed tree toad fain would share
A tree home up above.
In vain the two-toed tree toad tried;
He couldn't please her whim.
In her tree toad bower with veto power,
The she toad vetoed him!

Two Little Fleas 
Tune: Auld Lang Syne

Two little fleas together sat
They cried when one flea said;
"I've had no place to lay my head,
Since my old dog is dead.
I've traveled far from place to place
And farther will I roam.
But the next old dog that shows his face
Will be my home sweet home."

Ant Marching Song 

The ants go marching one by one.
Hurrah, Hurrah.
The ants go marching one by one.
Hurrah, Hurrah.
The ants go marching one by one,
The little one stops to chew some gum.
And they all go marching,
Down to the ground to get out of the rain.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.

(Insert the following lines, replacing one by one/to shoot his gun, etc.)

Two by two to tie his shoe.
Three by three to climb a tree.
Four by four to close the door.
Five by five to pick up sticks.
Seven by seven to look at heaven.
Eight by eight to shut the gate.
Nine by nine to tell the time.
Ten by ten to say THE END.

chorus:
So (or "and") they all go marching
Down...to the ground...
to get out of the rain"

Taps
Sing with reverence. 

Day is done
Gone the sun
From the Lakes
From the hills
From the sky
All is well
Safely rest
God is nigh.

Fading light 
Dims the sight, 
And a star gems the sky, 
Gleaming bright, 
From afar, 
Drawing nigh, 
Falls the night. 

Thanks and praise, 
For our days,
Neath the sun, 
Neath the stars, 
Neath the sky, 
As we go, 
This we know, 
God is nigh.

Gross Songs

Mister Toad
(Sung to the tune of Oh, Christmas Tree.)

Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Is it because you didn't know
That passing cars could hurt you so?
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?

Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Is it because you didn't care?
You look so peaceful lying there.
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?

Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
You used to be so green and fat
But now you're red and oh so flat.
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?

Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
I see you took a heavy load,
cause you are now part of the road.
Oh Mister Toad, oh Mister Toad
Why did you jump into the road?

Jaws
(Tune: Do Re Mi)

JAWS A shark, a great big shark
TEETH The things that kinda crunch
BITE The friendly sharks "hello"
US His favorite juicy lunch
BLOOD That turns the ocean red
CHOMP That means the sharks been fed
GULP I guess that we're now dead
That brings us back to
JAWS! JAWS! JAWS! JAWS!
JAWS! JAWS! JAWS! JAWS!

Gopher Guts

Great green globs of 
Greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Little birdies dirty feet,
Great green globs of 
Greasy grimy gopher guts,
and I forgot my spoon!

But I brought my fork!!! Yum

Great Green Globs of
Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts,
Mutilated Monkey Meat
Turdy, dirty, birdy-feet.
All mixed up with all-purpose porpoise pus
And me without my spoon

But I brought my straw!!!  Slurp

Mom, Wash My Underwear
Tune: "God Bless America" 

Mom, wash my underwear, my only pair. 
We can find them, and move them, 
From the heap by the side of the chair. 
To the washer, to the clothesline, 
To my backpack, to my rear. 
Mom, wash my underwear, my only pair. 
Mom, wash my underwear, my only pair. 

Oh My Monster Frankenstein 

In a castle, near a mountain,
Near the dark and murky Rhine.
Dwelt a doctor, the concoctor,
Of the monster, Frankenstein.

Chorus:
Oh my monster, oh my monster,
Oh my monster, Frankenstein.
You were built to last forever,
Dreadful scary Frankenstein.

In a graveyard, near the castle,
Where the sun refused to shine,
He found noses and some toeses
For his monster Frankenstein.

(Chorus)

So he took them and he built him,
From the pieces he did find,
And with lightning he animated, 
The scary monster Frankenstein.

(Chorus)

Scared the townsfolk, scared the Police,
Scared the kids did Frankenstein,
Til with torches, they did scare him,
To the castle by the Rhine.

My Bonnie

My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank,
The height of its contents to see.
I lit up a match to assist her,
Oh bring back my Bonnie to me.

Bring back.  Bring Back.
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me, to me.
Bring back.  Bring Back.
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Last night as I lay on my pillow,
Last night as I lay on my bed,
I stuck my feet out of the window,
Next morning my neighbors were dead.

Bring back.  Bring Back.
Oh, bring back my neighbors to me, to me.
Bring back.  Bring Back.
Oh, bring back my neighbors to me.

My Bonnie has tuberculosis,
My Bonnie has only one lung,
My Bonnie can cough up raw oysters'
And roll them around on her tongue.

Roll them, roll them.
Roll them around on her tongue, her tongue.
Roll them, roll them.
Roll them around on her tongue.

My luncheon lies over the ocean,
My breakfast lies over the rail.
My supper lies in great commotion,
Won't someone please bring me a pail.

Clams and ice cream , clams and ice cream 
Clams and ice cream don't agree with me, with me.
Clams and ice cream , clams and ice cream 
Clams and ice cream don't agree with me.

Who knows what I had for breakfast?
Who knows what I had for tea?
Who knows what I had for supper?
Just look out the window and see!

Worms

Nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me!
I'm gonna eat some worms.
Chorus (Repeat after each verse)
Long, slim slimy ones,
short, fat juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms.

First you get a bucket,
Then you get a shovel,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

First you pull the heads off,
Then you suck the guts out.
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Down goes the first one,
Down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Up comes the first one,
Up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Everybody likes me,
Nobody hates me!
Why did I eat those worms?

Chop up their heads and
Squeeze out their juice,
And throw their tails away.
Nobody knows how I survive
On worms three times a day!

Oh, Tom the Toad

(Sung to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree) 

1.  Oh, Tom the Toad, Oh, Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Oh, Tom the Toad, Oh, Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Didn't you see, that light turn red?
Now there are tracks, across your head.
Oh, Tom the Toad, Oh, Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?

2.  Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Why were you running from the mutts?
Now that truck, spread out your guts...
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?

3.  Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
You did not see the hook ahead,
And now your head is stuffed with bread.
Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?

4.  Oh Bill the bug, oh Bill the bug,
What are you doing on the rug.
Oh Bill the bug, oh Bill the bug,
What are you doing on the rug.
You did not see the foot ahead,
and now your just a spot of red,
Oh Bill the bug, oh Bill the bug,
What are you doing on the rug.

5.  Oh Rog the dog, Oh Rog the dog,
Why did you jump on that green log?
Oh Rog the dog, Oh Rog the dog,
Why did you jump on that green log?
You used to like to play and track.
But now you are a gator's snack.
Oh Rog the dog, Oh Rog the dog,
Why did you jump on that green log?

6.  Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?
You were so big and green and fat
But now you're small and red and flat.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why did you jump into the road?

7.  Oh Al the Gater, Oh Al the Gater
You should have waited until later.
Oh Al the Gater, Oh Al the Gater
You should have waited until later.
You sat upon the yellow line,
and now you're just a streak of slime
Oh Al the Gater, Oh Al the Gater
You should have waited until later.

8.  Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
You did not look from East to West
Now on the road there's such a mess.
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?

9.  Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?
Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?
You did not see that truck go by
Now you look like a butterfly.
Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?

10.  Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
You thought you'd beat that bus across
Now you look like a pile of moss.
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet

11.  Armadillo Tex, Armadillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Armadillo Tex, Armadillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Across the yellow line you strayed,
The truck hit you - like a grenade!
Armadillo Tex, Armadillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?

12.  Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
You didn't look as you jumped out,
A ten-ton truck ran up your snout!
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?

13.  Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
In the air you'd quickly speed,
An eighteen-wheeler made you bleed.
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?

14.  Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Out in the lane you boldly went,
Now your bod's not worth a cent!
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.

15.  Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
You did not see that car ahead
And you were flattened by the tread.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?

16.  Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Out on the road you quickly jumped,
You didn't count on getting bumped.
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?

17.  Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Along the road you swooped and flapped,
But a trucker's windshield got you zapped!
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?

18.  Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
In the road you thought you'd travel,
Now you're ground into the gravel.
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.

19.  Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Why were you running from the mutts?
Now that truck, spread out your guts...
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?

20.  Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
You did not see the hook ahead,
And now your head is stuffed with bread.
Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?

21.  Oh, Chicken Cluck you never slowed
As you went running cross the road.
Oh, Chicken Cluck you never slowed
As you went running cross the road.
Despite the other's evidence,
Please tell us why you had no sense
Oh, Chicken Cluck you never slowed
As you went running cross the road.

22.  I ran across! I ran across!
In memory of those we lost!
I ran across! I ran across!
In memory of those we lost!
I had to prove to Tom & Sue,
& Sam & Pete, I could get through!
I ran across! I ran across!
In memory of those we lost!

My Dog Rover 
(Tune: I’m Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover) 

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overran with the mower.
One leg is missing, another is gone,
One leg is scattered all over the lawn.
No need explaining, the one remaining,
Is stuck in the kitchen door.
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overran with the mower.

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
Who died on the kitchen floor.
One leg is broken, the other is lame,
The third leg is missing, the fourth needs a cane.
No need explaining, the tail remaining
Was caught in the oven door.
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
Who died on the kitchen floor.

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover,
That I ran over last night.
One leg is broken,
The other is bent,
On the top of his head,
There's a great, big, dent.
There's no need explaining,
The part's remaining,
Are Spread from left to right.
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover,
That I ran over last night.
Bug Juice
 (Tune: On Top of Old Smokey)

At camp with the Cub Scouts,
They gave us a drink,
We thought it was Koolaid,
Because it was pink.

But the thing that they told us,
Would have grossed out a moose,
For that good tasting pink drink,
Was really bug juice.

It looked fresh and fruity,
Like tasty Koolaid,
But the bugs that were in it,
were murdered with Raid.

We drank by the gallons,
We drank by the ton,
But then the next morning,
We all had the runs.

Next time you drind bug juice,
And a fly drives you mad,
He's just getting even,
Because you swallowed his dad.

Mom, Wash My Underware
Tune: "God Bless America"

Mom, wash my underware, my only pair. 
We can find them, and move them, 
From the heap by the side of the chair. 
To the washer, to the clothesline, 
To my backpack, to my rear. 
Mom, wash my underware, my only pair. 
Mom, wash my underware, my only pair. 

-- Thanks to Chuck Bramlet, ASM Troop 323, Thunderbird District, Grand Canyon
Council, Phoenix, Az. 

Underware
Tune: "Over There" 

Underware, Underware, 
How I itch in my woolen underware. 
How I wish I'd gotten a pair of cotton, 
So I wouldn't itch everywhere. 

BVDs make me sneeze. 
When the breeze from the trees 
Hits my knees. 
Coming over, I'm coming over, 
In my gosh darned, itchy, woolen underware.