The MacScouter's Big Book of Scouts -- L through N
The scene is a living room
with a radio playing. A Scout is changing stations. There is an announcement,
read from off stage: "We interrupt this station to bring you an important
news bulletin. A criminal known as the Land Shark has been seen on the
streets of this town! He knocks on the doors of suspecting people, disguises
his voice, and upon entrance, devours them leaving no traces. If the Land
Shark shows up at your door, do not open it, and call the police immediately.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled broadcast."
Scout, turning off radio:
"I hope that Land Shark doesn't show up here."
Three loud knocks are heard. "Who is it?"
Offstage: "Pizza delivery"
Scout: "Oh, great! Come on in!" He reaches offstage to open the door.
Hands reach out and pull him off with a loud growl. Curtain closes.
Curtain opens on another Scout: "I've heard so many rumors about that
Land Shark. I'm curious." (Three loud knocks.) "Who is it?"
Offstage: "Luke Paterson from Metropolitan Life."
Scout: "What do you want?"
Offstage: "I need to review your policy. Your never know when something
might happen!"
Scout: "Come in." Opens door. Loud growl. Grabbed and pulled offstage.
Curtain closes.
Curtain opens on an older Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is it?"
Offstage: "Pharmacy delivery."
Scout: "I didn't order any medicine."
Offstage: "Candygram."
Scout: "From whom?"
Offstage: "Plumber."
Scout: "My pipes are fine! Say, I know who this is. It's that nasty
Land Shark!"
Offstage, in a small voice: "I'm only a guppy, sir."
Scout: "Oh, all right. Come in, then." Opens the door and is pulled
offstage. More growls. Curtain closes.
Curtain opens on an old, sharp Scout. He hears three knocks. "Who is
it?"
Offstage: "Boy Scout Troop 144. Would you like to buy some fertilizer,
sir?"
Scout, looks at the audience and smiles knowingly: "Just a minute."
He gets a large stick and prepares to hit the Shark. "Come in."
He swings the stick offstage.
There is a loud thump. A very young Scout in full uniform stumbles onto
the stage and dramatically falls, face first.
One person bends over pantomiming
a lawn mower. This "mower" rumbles and shakes, sputtering, as the gardener
tries to start it. It doesn't start. Other members of the skit try to
start it with no luck. The gardener chooses a volunteer out of the audience
to try and start it and it starts up right away chugging along. The gardener
explains all it took was a bigger JERK.
(One participant is on his
hands and knees as the mower.)
Owner : (Yanking imaginary
rope, while mower sputters) This darned old mower, I can't get it going.
I need some help. (Gets help from another participant.)
Helper #1: So you just
want me to yank on this rope, and get it started ? That's easy ! (Yanking
rope)
Mower : (Splutters, bobs
up and down)
Helper #1: I'm sorry.
I can't seem to do it. Have you checked the gas ?
Owner : Yes, I have.
Thanks anyway. Well, let's see who else has a strong arm. (Selects another
participant) What I need you to do is to give a real good yank on the
starting rope and make it run.
Helper #2: Sure thing.
(Yanks rope a couple of times.)
Mower : (Bobs up and
down, sputters, coughs)
Helper #2: Sorry, I can't
do it either.
Owner : What I need is
someone big and strong (Selects a Leader) (Leader will probably make
some comments, but let him talk and get him to pull the rope)
Mower : (Splutters, coughs,
starts to vibrate and run)
Owner : There. All it
needed was a good jerk.
Yet another which may
be considered inappropriate.
Cast: Narrator, French
Person, Storekeeper, Border Guard
Narrator: This man (indicate
French person) wanted to learn English so that he could go to the US
to do some shopping. So he went to a store and bought a radio (transaction
made with shopkeeper.) He listened to it all the time until finally,
when he thought that his English was good enough, he went to the border.
Border Guard: Where are
you going, Sir?
Frenchman: (Crackles
a response, like radio with bad reception.)
Cast: Teacher, Kid
Setting: Classroom
Kid: (To teacher) May
I go to the washroom?
Teacher: First you have
to recite the alphabet.
Kid recites the alphabet
BUT leaves out the letter P.
Teacher: You forgot the
letter P. What happened to it?
Kid: It's running down
my pants!
This is an old, old vaudeville
stunt. It depends on the interaction between the players and the crowd.
Overacting and showing off should be encouraged. The only prop needed
is a length of rubber tubing, such as a piece of old bicycle inner tube.
The skit should be practiced,
both for the greatest effect and for the protection of the Scout, who
must know how to absorb the blow. The Scout turns his back to the Master
of Ceremonies. He bends partly forward, and pulls the tubing over his
shoulder. When the tubing is released, he falls forward and rolls toward
the opposite shoulder. If he holds the tube properly, it will fly over
his shoulder with a 'Snap!' He will not be hurt unless he takes the
blow squarely. The Master of Ceremonies should know what is going to
happen and how he should act, but he does not have to know when he will
receive his long-distance phone call.
The Skit
The Master of Ceremonies
is presiding over a Court of Honor or a campfire. A Scout runs onto
the stage and interrupts him dramatically, " I have a long distance
telephone call for you!"
The Scout has a length
of rubber tubing. He hands one end to the MC, explaining that this is
the phone line. "I'll get the line straightened out and connect you.
When I say 'Ring-Ring', you hold it up to your ear and say 'Let me have
it', and you'll get your call."
The MC looks skeptical,
looks at the Scout, then at the tube, then at the Scout again and finally
agrees. The Scout stretches the line and says, "Ring- Ring". The MC
looks at the audience, then at the Scout, and plays dumb. "What was
I supposed to say?"
The Scout walks back
and repeats his instructions very patiently. He rehearses the MC, making
him repeat the lines. They try again. The Scout stretches the line further
than before. He says, "Ring-Ring". The MC forgets again.
The Scout goes through
it all again. This time he gets the audience to help by saying the key
phrase, "Let me have it!" With a big grin for the audience, he repeats
this several times.
This time he stretches
the tube to its limits, turning his back to the MC, bending over, and
holding the tube over his shoulder. He looks at the audience. "Ready?"
"Ready!" "Ring-Ring."
The MC looks at the audience
and grins. Now he understands. "Wait. What am I supposed to say?"
The Scout frowns at the
audience, loses his temper, and calls out, "Let Me Have It!" The MC
lets go.
Props: Two sheets of paper.
Scott: (Enters) Gee,
it's always nice to get a letter from home when you're at camp.
Robin: (Enters) Hey,
look, I got a letter from my Mom.
Scott: Me too. Listen,
my Mom says she's writing this letter slowly, because she knows I can't
read fast.
Robin: Mine says I won't
know the house when I come home.. They've moved !
Scott: Oh, my Dad has
a new job with 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.
Robin: Our neighbors
started keeping pigs. Mom got wind of it this morning.
Scott: Oh, my goodness.
My little brother came home from school crying because all the other
boys had new clothes and we can't afford any for him. Mom says she got
him a new hat and lets him stand in the window.
Robin: There was a washing
machine in the new house. But my Mom put four shirts in it, pulled the
handle and they disappeared. Guess it doesn't work right.
Scott: My Mom had her
appendix out and a dishwasher put in. And, oh, my sister had a baby
this morning. Mom doesn't know if I'm an Aunt or and Uncle, because
she doesn't know yet if it's a boy or a girl.
Robin: Oh, dear, there's
a P.S. It says, I was going to send you $ 10.00, but I had already sealed
the envelope.
Scott: Well, it's nice
to know things are normal at home.
Robin: Yep. (Both exit)
(With this skit it is
possible to put each boy's script on a sheet of paper, and they can
read it out, as though they were reading the letter. They should rehearse,
of course, to make it sound natural.)
A transparent container (i.e.
an old vase) and a coin with a string attached. The container sits on
a table with a cloth over it. Have two guys start up a conversation where
one tries to convince the other that the container and coin is a lie detector.
The coin jumps up and down pulled by another person below the table when
somebody tells the truth. The second guy doesn't believe the first guy
that the vase is a lie detector. Punch line is that the boy with the container
and coin says he isn't lying and that he hasn't lied in his whole life
where the table falls over with the container revealing the boy underneath.
First of two guys: "This
is the lighthouse sketch. We need a volunteer from the audience to be
the lighthouse. Any volunteers?" (Pick a girl, but don't say you need
a girl.) "OK, you are going to be the lighthouse. I need you to stand
up straight right here, and don't move. Oh, you're moving! Stand straight
and still."
First guy: "Now we need
to row out and light the lighthouse." The two guys sit on the floor,
pretending to be in a rowboat. "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" They scoot
along backwards to the lighthouse, like they are rowing a rowboat.
First guy: "Now it's
time to light the lighthouse. Matches! Matches?"
Second guy, hitting his forehead: "We forgot the matches!"
Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back
First guy: "Matches? Good. Wick?"
Second guy: "We forgot the wick!"
Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then row back
First guy: "We've got the wick now? Good. Matches?
Second guy: "Um, ..."
First guy> "You forgot the matches again."
Second guy nods. Pretend to row back to shore and get the matches, then
row back.
First guy: "Matches."
Second guy: "Matches."
First guy: "Wick."
Second guy: "Wick."
First guy: "Finally! Now it's time to light the lighthouse!"
Both guys kiss the girl on the cheeks, then run offstage as fast as
they can. Hopefully the girl will blush, lighting the lighthouse.
See "The Olde Lighthouse"
in this Big Book.
Cast:
1 narrator
3-6 Scouts for the lighthouse walls
3-6 leaders, counselors, kitchen staff, etc., number to equal the Scouts
and will be 'recruited' during the skit
1 flashlight, or 2 if using 5-6 Scouts
Scouts stand in a circle,
facing out, feet spread 2' - 3' apart but touching feet of Scouts on
each side. The flashlight is held at eye level and is passed around
the circle. Scouts stand tall and hold the beacon's beam steady.
Narrator: "Many years
ago the people of a seaside village built a lighthouse to warn approaching
ships of a dangerous shoal near their harbor. It's beacon could be seen
for miles, even in fog and storms. For many decades, the lighthouse
stood firm and gave safe passage to all who sailed by the village. But
as the years went by, the villagers grew old and so did the lighthouse.
The villagers could no longer make repairs, the ocean's waves wore away
the foundation, the lighthouse started to sag and failed at its duty."
The Scouts now stoop,
heads lean to the side and bend their knees slightly; the light 'travels'
a zig-zag path around.
Narrator: "When the schooners
and square riggers started to go aground on the shoals, the old villagers
knew they had to call in experienced people to help with their problem.
People who were pillars in their own communities and who were solid
as a rock."
Recruit your favorite
'I'm gonna get you now' people and instruct them to go down on their
hands an knees and into the walls. Leaders are facing in with their
derrieres out, and are straddled by the Scouts who again stand tall
and give a steady light.
Narrator: "Now with these
new rocks placed into the foundation, the lighthouse once again shines
a bright beacon and stands firm in the stormy surf to withstand the
pounding of the waves."
Scouts drop the flashlight
and then hand paddle the leaders.
-- Thanks to The U.S.
Scouting Service Project
A group of scouts are out
hunting along with the troop chaplain. The Troop Chaplain says "Look there
goes a duck." A Scout using imaginary rifle takes a shot, and missing
says something beginning with Dang. (Dang, I missed. Dang, missed again.
Dang cant hit anything, etc.)
Each time the chaplain
explains that he is the chaplain and cautions the Scouts for their language
and that they will anger the Lord. Finally the chaplain being somewhat
put outs says: "If you use that language once more, the Lord will strike
you down on the spot!". Repeat the scenario, There is one, bang, Dang
missed again. Then from outside of the campfire are is a loud band,
One of the Scouts yells look out for the lightening, and the chaplain
fall to the ground. A voice from outside the campfire says in a deep
voice, "Dang! Missed Again!"
This skit is performed on
a Hollywood sound stage, you have a director, cameraman and actors: Doctor,
leading man and maiden. The man is on his death bed, maiden runs to call
for the doctor, doctor comes and says he can't help, with the maiden at
his side the man dies in her arms. The maiden sobs on the doctor shoulder.
The Director every time stops the movie here and changes the directions:
Too slow, too fast, too sad, too happy,. The real fun comes from the actors
following the instructions, fast is running and voices like bees, slow
is slow motion, etc. (when the man dies slow, it takes forever.) The last
direction is do it normal, everyone performs and the director is please,
the director instructs them to do it again and says to the cameraman,
now put the film in the camera!
A scout comes out and begins
talking about low impact camping and the importance of preserving nature.
As he walks around, he sees a piece of litter and picks it up. He complains
about the thoughtlessness of campers who litter. Next a scout enters and
drops lots of litter in his path. Other scouts rush the littering scout
and beat him up. Finally they pick up the littering scout and ask him
if he has learn anything fro this experience? He answers painfully: "I
learned that every litter bit hurts!"(exit holding injured parts of body.)
First scout comes on and
says 'Oh no I've lost it' He then starts to search around on the floor.
Second scout comes in and asks what he is looking for. First scout replies
that he has lost his little green ball. Both scouts continue searching
the floor. Several more scouts come on and are told about the lost little
green ball. even members of the audience can be persuaded to join in the
search. After enough time has been dragged out, the first scout, sticks
a finger up his nose and says "Don't worry I will have to make another
one" YUK!!!!!
One person goes along a wall
listening and listening. Others come along and ask him what he is doing.
He says dramatically, "Listen," and the others do. One of them says, "I
don't hear anything", in a disgusted voice. "LISTEN", he says more dramatically
and they listen some more. Again someone says, "I don't hear anything."
The original listener says, "You know," with a faraway look, "its been
like that all day."
The instrument consists of
several kneeling performers. The player strikes each on the head with
a fake mallet or his fist as if playing a xylophone. Each player utters
a single note when struck. Simple songs such as "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little
Star" can be played this way.
Two Scouts enter a fancy
seafood restaurant, seated by Host, given menus, they study and discuss
the menus, etc. Waiter arrives to take orders. One customer orders shrimp.
The second says, " I'd like a lobster tail, Please." Waiter says appropriate
things, goes away, returns with a storybook, sits down near customer two
but faces audience, and begins to read; "Once upon a time, there was a
little lobster......."
This is a cute one obtained
from the Mt. Norris Scout Reserve, Vermont, Staff Campfire.
Cast: Narrator, two hunters,
Melican, Loon, wise man
Setting: Out in the woods
Narrator: This is the
story of the little-known Melican and two hunters' efforts to capture
it. For instance, watch.
The Melican, which has
been dancing around during the Narrator's speech, suddenly spots the
two hunters, who blunderingly, and unsuccessfully, attempt to catch
the Melican. During the next speech, all actors act according to the
Narrator's storyline.
Narrator: Several times
our bold hunters attempt to catch this Melican; they use traps, "Melican"
calls, even a sick loon. (Every once in a while the actors make appropriate
comments.) But all this was to no avail. Finally, they consulted a wise
man.
Hunter 1: Wise man, we
have been trying to catch the Melican for quite a while, but without
any success. We even tried to lure it with a sick loon, because we'd
heard that it was a good idea. What do you suggest?
Wise man: (In one of
those old, strained, many years-of-experience sage voices,) You have
been going about it almost in the right way. But the Melican also needs
a sweeter trap!
Hunter 1: (Bewildered)
Uh... Thank you, Wise man! Let's go!
Hunter 2: What did he mean by a sweeter trap?
Hunter 1: I don't know. Maybe we should feed our sick loon some sugar!
Hunter 2: Sugar?
Hunter 1: Yeah! You know, like sugar cured ham!
Narrator: And so our
brave hunters took a bag of sugar and forced it down the loon's throat.
Ahh ... Watch now as the Melican spots our loon.
The Melican sees the
loon and DIVES for it, at which point, the hunters capture the Melican.
Narrator: Out brave hunters
have finally succeeded in capturing the Melican. Which, dear audience,
leads to the moral of this story ... A loonful of sugar helps the Melican
go down!
First boy searches the ground
around the campfire.
Second boy: "What are you looking for, maybe I can help you find it.
First boy: "I dropped my neckerchief slide."
Second boy: "Where were you standing when you dropped it."
First boy: "Over there." (He points into the darkness."
Second boy: "Then why are you looking over there."
First boy: "Are you kidding? It's too dark over there. You can't see a
thing."
(Small boy is sitting, crying)
Passer-by #1: (Enters)
What's wrong little boy, why are you crying?
Boy : (Sobbing) I lost
my lollipop !
Passer-by #1: Have you
looked for it ?
Boy : (Continues to sob)
Oh, yes, I've looked under my bed, in my sock drawer, and even in Charlie's
pocket.
Passer-by #1: I've heard
that chanting often works. You think very hard about the lollipop until
you can see it in your mind, and chant 'lollipop' over and over again.
Boy : (Closing eyes tightly)
Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop.
Passer-by #1: (Nods approval
and strolls out)
Boy : (Continues chanting
for a while, then starts crying again)
Passer-by #2: (Enters)
What's wrong, little boy ?
Boy : (Sobbing) I lost
my lollipop, and I hunted and hunted, then this man told me to chant,
and I did, and it didn't work !
Passer-by #2: Chanted
?
Boy : Yeah, like this
(Demonstrates, then starts to cry)
Passer-by #2: Don't cry
little boy. Maybe we need more help.
Boy : (Turns to audience)
You're my only help to get my lollipop back. Everybody, very softly
now, chant with me, "Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop,
big red yummy lollipop." (Gets everyone doing it in unison) Great !
I think it's working, keep going now.
Passer-by #1: (Re-enters)
Hi little boy. Did it work ?
Boy : (Loudly) No, it
didn't, but I did find a whole lot of suckers !
Number of Participants: 5
or more
Props: Flashlight
Scene: One person acts
as a lamp post, shining a flashlight on the ground. Another (#1) is
groping around in the pool of light.
A third person enters,
sees # 1, and asks: "What are you looking for ?"
# 1: "A quarter that I lost".
He joins # 1, and helps him search. A fourth and fifth enter and repeat
the above scene.
Finally one of them asks # 1: "Where did you loose the quarter ?"
# 1: (Pointing away) "Over there:.
Boy: "Then why are you looking here ?"
# 1: "Because the light is better over here !"
Props: Lunch bags or pails.
Announcer: We see here
a construction site. It is now lunch time, and two friends are about
to eat.
Worker 1: (Opens lunch
bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhhh !! Egg salad sandwiches again
!
Worker 2: Look, if you
hate them that bad, I'll swap with you.
(Both pretend to eat,
then exit.)
Announcer: The next day.
Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted)
Yechhhh !!! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: O.K... I'll trade with you again. (Both pretend to eat, then
exit.)
Announcer: The next day.
Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted)
Yechhh !! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: (Angrily) Look, if you don't like egg salad sandwiches, why
don't you ask your (wife/mom/significant other) to make something else
?
Worker 1: My (wife/mom/significant other)?? She's got nothing to do
with it. I make my own sandwiches !
The scene is a bridge where
a very depressed reporter is about to jump off (the end of the stage or
a platform could be the end of the bridge). The reporter says that he
has had it, can't get a big story, all washed up and wants to end it all.
He calls out, one, two, swinging his arms when another person shows up
and asks what is going on. He tells him his sad story which encourages
him to tell him his; they both get depressed and decide to jump. They
call out, one, two, and another person shows up. They each tell this person
their sad story and he decides to jump to. Once more they call out One,
... Two, ... Three ! All the people jump except for the reporter who runs
off saying; "I've got a great story, two people jump off the bridge. Wait
until the boss sees this." A building could be used as well as a bridge.
Two guys come out, one is
the magician, one his not so smart assistant. The magician introduces
his act and sends his assistant to a table behind him. The magician facing
the audience tells Herkimer to do exactly as he says. There is a table
by Herkimer which has a bandanna and a banana. The magician asks Herkimer
to pick up the bandanna and to perform various actions such as put the
bandanna in his right hand, fold it in half, fold the four corners together,
stuff it in his left fist and upon one, two, three, it will disappear.
However, Herkimer, picks up the banana, not the bandanna and performs
these actions. At the end when Herkimer is supposed to show his fist,
for the disappearance of the bandanna, he throws the mashed up banana
at the magician instead. The magician chases him offstage.
Characters required, 1 doctor
and four patients. Props required, two chairs.
Scene begins with doctor
sitting on one of the chairs.
First patient enters
twitching their left arm.
DOCTOR: 'And what's wrong
with you sir?'
Patient 1: 'As you can
see doctor I have this terrible twitch'
DOCTOR: 'Just sit on
my magic chair and you'll get better'
The patient sits on the
chair and stops twitching, but the doctor's left arm starts twitching.
Patient 1: 'Oh thank
you doctor. you cured me'
The patient leaves, the
doctor still twitching calls for the next patient.
DOCTOR: ' Next '......
'And what's wrong with you sir?'
This patient has the
hiccups. The process of sitting in the chair is repeated. The doctor
now has a twitch and the hiccups.
The third patient is
called in, both his legs keep flicking in the air. The process is again
repeated so that the doctor now has a twitching arm the hiccups and
both legs flicking in the air.
The doctor now calls
patient four. This patient looks quite normal, enters and sits in the
magic chair.
DOCTOR: 'And what may
I ask is wrong with you sir?'
Patient 4: 'I've got
a terrible case of the trots doctor' The doctor runs off the stage holding
his stomach.
Note: TROTS is English
slang for can't stop going to the toilet
-- Thanks to the Australian
Scout Association
Mamma is washing dishes,
back to baby. Baby says that he wants a drink. "Right in front of you
dear", says mamma. Baby picks up green drink. Baby says that he wants
Martian Cream Pie, getting real pushy, aggressive, and bratty; throwing
the drink on the floor. Baby tells mamma that he spilled his comet juice.
Mamma turns around putting out two fake arms telling the baby that she
only has four arms.
It takes all kinds.
Need: 3 scouts (2 older
scouts and 1 Cub Scout).
(Two Scouts come on stage
carrying a long pole. They prop it up, then stand back and look at it.)
Scout 1: Now, there are
several ways we can figure out the height of this pole. How do you want
to start?
(The Scouts unsuccessfully
try various methods of estimation to calculate the height of the pole.
The conversation goes something like....)
Scout 1: According to
my calculations, that pole is about 2 m high.
Scout 2: There's no way.
It has got to be shorter than that. Just look at it.
(This kind of exchange
repeats several times as the Scouts obviously become more and more exasperated.
A Cub strolls onto the stage.)
Cub: Hi! (he watches
a bit) What are you guys trying to do?
Scout 2: We're trying
to measure the exact height of this pole.
Scout 1: We haven't had
too much luck, yet, but we'll get it.
Cub: Why don't you just
lay the pole on the ground and measure its length?
Scout 1: (scornfully)
Cubs!
Scout 2: I'll say. (To
the Cub) Didn't you hear right? We want to know how tall the pole is
- not how long it is
-- Thanks to The U.S.
Scouting Service Project
Setting is the office of
a famous psychiatrist. He is seated behind a table. Nurse brings in a
patient with a flowerpot on his head. Another patient enters and runs
around, waving his arms as if flying. Next patient keeps brushing his
clothes and complains about bugs crawling on him. Doctor says: "For heaven's
sake, don't brush them off on me.!"
Sergeant is drilling a group
of uniformed men, who are a pretty sloppy lot - shoestrings untied, shirt
tails out, collars unbuttoned, hats at odd angles etc. Sergeant drills
in a march, but they go in the wrong directions, trip while turning, and
so on. Finally, he has of the group marching left and the other half marching
right. He instructs them to reverse direction and turn and march toward
each other. Instead of passing between each other, they meet head on and
all fall down. Sergeant weeps bitterly into a large handkerchief, steps
among the prostrate bodies and pretends to jump up and down on them.
Fasten a shirt backwards
around the first person's neck, leaving the sleeves empty. Have a second
person stand behind the first and put his arms through the shirt sleeves.
A sheet is held by two others behind the head of the singer hiding the
second person. As the first person sings, the second person gestures with
his hands. This can be done with more than one singer. Variation 1: Instead
of singing have the second person trying to do various ordinary acts such
eating from a bowl, tying shoes, cooking such as cracking eggs (on the
narrator as one possibility) etc.
Child is told to clean room.
The child hates to clean his room so he gets out his book of magic spells
and use one to clean the room. Unfortunately, the room gets worse with
clothes etc. thrown in from offstage. This happens again twice. The child
decides he might as well clean up this mess and proceeds to do so. When
the room is finally clean, the child is ready to throw the magic book
in the garbage. The child talking to himself says, "Enough of this Hocus
Pocus". More stuff flies in. The child moans not again !
Sometimes the loser loses,
no matter what he tries.
A small tent is set up
on stage. It should be easy to collapse, and probably should not be
your best tent; it gets collapsed by the weight of several Scouts.
Two Scouts walk on stage
together. They call each other "Master" and "Slave" as they discuss
the trip they are taking. They notice that it is getting dark, and decide
to spend the night. The Master announces that he will sleep in the tent.
As he climbs into the tent, the Slave starts to come in also. The Master
tells him that there is only room for one person, and that the Slave
must sleep outside. The Slave protests weakly, looks disgusted, and
eventually lies down on the ground. They go to sleep.
A gang of motorcyclists
roars onto the far end of the stage, making motorcycle noises and pretending
that they are riding. They stop, discover and point at the sleeping
Slave, and discuss among themselves, "Let's get him!" They rush across
the stage and beat up the Slave, who screams and calls for help. The
gang rushes away, "Let's get out of here!"
The Slave rushes to the
Master's tent and wakes him. He tells excitedly about the attack, and
begs to sleep in the tent. The Master refuses to believe him, accuses
him of inventing the story, and sends him back to sleep outside. Again
they go to sleep.
The motorcycle gang reappears,
and repeats the scene. The Slave is terrorized and insists on sleeping
in the tent. He gets down on his knees and pleads. The Master is angry,
and calls him a coward. Just to show the Slave that there is nothing
to fear, the Master decides that he will stay outside and the Slave
will sleep in the tent.
The motorcycle gang appears
again, and confers at some length. They decide, "This time, let's get
the guy in the tent!" They knock the tent down and fall on the Slave
- again.
The Motorcycle Dealer introduces
himself and his shop. He stocks many types of motorcycles, and they are
all in excellent condition. In fact, he will demonstrate how good they
are by making a sale to the next customer who walks in the door.
First, of course, he
needs some volunteers from the audience. Three are selected, and each
is briefed quickly as he comes to the front. (Choose scapegoats who
have characteristics similar to the motorcycle they will represent.)
The first is to go slowly when started. The second will go very fast,
almost losing its rider. The third should not go anywhere. They are
lined up on their hands and knees facing the crowd. "Now," says the
Dealer, "You can see what fine motorcycles I have."
A Scout walks in and
asks if he has any motorcycles for sale. Of course, the Dealer is eager
to show his stock.
This first one is a Smith
(use the victim's name). It's only 200 cc's, but a nice little machine.
The Dealer makes his sales pitch and invites the Buyer to go for a ride.
The Buyer straddles the Smith, raises himself up and mimics using the
kick starter. The Buyer makes motorcycle noises, not very energetically.
He 'rides' (actually straddles and walks) the Smith around in a slow
circle, returning to the starting point. "That's too slow," says the
Buyer, "Do you have anything more powerful?"
The next motorcycle is
a 1000 cc Yablonski. Again the Buyer climbs aboard and operates the
kick starter. The Yablonski roars to life and races around in a circle.
The Buyer can barely hold on. "That's too fast! I could kill myself
on that one!"
The Dealer says he thinks
he has just the right one, a Jones that he recently received on trade-in.
It's in good condition and has about the right power. The Buyer climbs
on and tries to start. He makes sputtering noises. After several trials,
he complains that something just isn't right because the Jones won't
start. He gets off and stands looking at the motorcycle.
The Dealer yells angrily
to Joe, who is offstage, "Joe! I thought I told you to put gas in the
Jones!"
Joe replies, "Sorry Boss!
I'll do it right now!" Joe enters quickly with a bucket or gas can and
pours water onto the rear end of the Jones.
Announce him as Mr. Kerplunk
the world renown spitter. He could be French, German, etc. with the appropriate
accent. He says he will demonstrate several of his famous spits for the
group. An assistant holds a bucket across the stage for Mr. Kerplunk to
spit into (tap on the bottom of the bucket to create the special effect).
Here are some examples of spits to use but be creative in creating your
own:
1) Short Shot: He spits;
sound effect comes immediately.
2) Ricochet Shot: He
spits for a side wall (tree etc. if outside) and watches it bounce around
before it hits the bucket.
3) Long Shot: He spits
and follows the long arc with his head; sound made after a long pause.
4) Fast Shot: Sound effect
is made before he spits.
5) Super Shot: Advertised
as the most famous. Spends a minute getting mouth full of spit, checks
bulge out and finally spits. Guy in front stands up and wipes water
or raw egg from eye.
The announcer makes a flowery
introduction about how fortunate the audience is to have the opportunity
to hear the splendid vocal group about to perform. After the introduction,
the group marches onto stage and lines up across the front. The announcer
states that their first number will be that appealing ballad "The Little
Lost Sheep". Following a short musical introduction, singers open their
mouths and produce a long, loud "Baa-a-a".
A scout is a door to door
salesman, selling Musical Toilet Seats: If you have some cardboard make
props like toilet seats. Salesman approaches each home knocks on the door
and sells the seat:
Salesman: "Good morning
sir, I like to show you the newest thing in electronic technology. My
company has developed the new musical toilet seat. Would you be interested
in buying this modern day marvel?"(ham this up, plead beg, etc. be a
door to door salesman) Customer 1: "Do you have one that plays Dixie?"
Customer 2 asked for "Eat the Rich" . Customer 3 asked for "Star Spangled
Banner" Salesman, I sure do, Here it is, I hope you like it. I'll come
back tomorrow to make sure you are satisfied."
The next day the Salesman
goes back and asked of each customer: How did you like the musical toilet
seat.? Customer 1: "It was great, it played Dixie and I sat there with
a bucket of fried chicken enjoying each note. Customer 2: "It was great.
I listened and read a copy of the Rolling Stone magazine." Customer
3: "I hated it, It just did not work out.
Salesman responds to
Customer 3: "we have never had an unsatisfied customer, what went wrong?
Customer 3: " It's that music. "Every time I sit down on the toilet,
it starts playing the Star Spangled Banner and I have to stand up again!"
Nanook is an unusual young
Scout who is very proud of being self-sufficient, and likes to tell us
about his ability. He is a little uncoordinated, much to the delight of
the audience.
This skit is best presented
indoors with a relatively small audience, so Nanook's demonstration
is appreciated up close. The skit is best if not rehearsed.
Preparation
Nanook is two people.
One is seen by the audience from the waist up. His hands are inserted
into a large pair of boots that are propped up on the table. He has
a blanket-covered hunch back, which conceals the second Scout. The second
Scout reaches his hands under the arms of the first; these are Nanook's
hands. The visible Nanook should be a Scout who likes to talk and can
keep a happy outlook in the face of some physical discomfort.
Collect all materials
in advance, and plan the order in which they will be used. Encourage
the Scouts to suggest ideas, but do not plan too many activities. The
skit should not run more than 10 minutes at the most. A plastic sheet
on the floor will help with the cleanup.
The Skit
The curtain opens, and
Nanook is seated behind a table. The table is draped with a blanket
or sheet so that the audience cannot see behind it.
Nanook introduces himself,
gesturing with his hands. He knows that he looks a little strange, but
he is a very capable and independent Boy Scout. He is very proud that
he knows how to take care of himself. Nanook would like to show us how
he gets up in the morning. As he demonstrates, he talks about what he
is doing.
"First, I wash my face."
A Scout brings a basin of water and a washcloth. He washes, getting
water over a wide area.
"Then, I shave." Applies
shaving cream and shaves. (Use a safety razor without a blade!)
Because the person operating
his hands cannot see, the results are, well, interesting. He washes
off the soap and dries his face on a towel.
Nanook then puts toothpaste
on his toothbrush and brushes his teeth. He brushes his hair.
Once he has cleaned up
and the washing materials have been removed, it is time for breakfast
-- a good big bowl of oatmeal, which he eats with a large spoon. He
uses a big napkin to wipe his face. "Umm, that was good!"
Now he is ready to face
the day. All he needs is his hat, a knitted cap.
Nanook thanks all the
nice people for coming to see him. He hopes they have enjoyed their
visit!
The narrator walks to the
center of the stage and says that he would now like to present for his
audience, that historical event, Napoleon's last farewell to his troops,
after his defeat at the battle of waterloo. He builds up the atmosphere,
by asking his audience to imagine these thousands of soldiers, weary from
days of fighting etc. When this has been built up enough, the narrator
sticks his right hand, under the left breast of his jacket, walks forward
and says " FAREWELL TROOPS".
-- Thanks to the Australian
Scout Association
Cast: Leader, 3 or 4 Kids
Setting: Meeting Hall
Leader: Boys, they're
having a contest to redesign the World Conservation
Badge. So you guys should
try to come up with some ideas.
Kids: Sure thing, Akela.
After a pause, #1 comes
in.
#1: Here's an idea, Akela.
Leader: Hmm... not bad. But isn't that too dull?
#2: Akela! Look at this!
Leader: Really nice, but the design is too complicated for the badgemakers
to put on a badge.
#3: I have a really good one, Akela!
Leader: Very good. But I think it's too big.
#4: This is it Akela! It's sure to be a winner!
Leader: This is perfect! It's bright enough, simple to make, and the
right size. Where did you come up with this idea?
#4: It's a copy of the old badge!
Cast: Salesman, Buyer, 5
People to be Tires, Victim
Setting: Car Showroom
4 of the tires are crouched
in "tire" formation as on a car. The fifth is the spare tire at the
back.
Salesman: Here, Sir,
is our latest and best model. It also has an unbelievably low price.
Let me show you the quality. (He "kicks" one of the tires -- tire falls
flat and makes a hissing sound.) My, I'm so embarrassed. (He "kicks"
another tire -- same thing happens. Start hamming it up, interacting
more and talking with the buyer, apologizing profusely and being very
embarrassed. Salesman successively kicks each tire until all 5 are kicked.
Finally,)
Salesman: Hold on, let
me get one of my men from the back. (Get your victim) Do you think you
can fix these flats? (Instructs him to lift up each tire and so on,
and each one rises to original position.) Well, I guess all that was
needed was a nut to hold it up!
Version 2
Cast: Salesman, Buyer,
4 people to be bicycles, Victim
The five "bicycles" are
in doggy position.
Salesman: Here, Sir,
is our most popular model. It also has an unbelievably low price. Try
it.
Buyer: OK -- (tries it)
-- no, it's not the right size.
Salesman: Then try this
one. It's go 25 gears and goes really fast.
Buyer: No, I don't need
that many.
Salesman: All right,
try this one.
Buyer: I don't quite
like the color.
Salesman: This one is
a great mountain bike; great reports from everyone.
Buyer: Hmmm... OK. Hey!
I really like this!
All of a sudden the mountain
bike collapses -- falls down.
Salesman: My, I'm so
embarrassed. Are you sure you wouldn't like to purchase one of the other
bicycles? They're very good.
Buyer: Not really. I
really liked this last one.
Salesman: Hold on, let
me get one of my men from the back. (Get your victim.) Do you think
you can fix this bike? (Instructs him to lift up the bike and pull this,
tighten that.) Now Sir, try it.
Buyer: Hey! This is great!
You've just sold this bike! What did your technician do?
Salesman: Well, I guess
all that was needed was a nut to hold it up!
Announcer: This scene takes
place in a hardware store in a small north woods lumber town.
Lumberjack: (Enters)
My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will let
me cut more wood, or I'm going to go broke !
Owner : Yes, sir ! For
only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this chain saw.
I guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your own
crosscut.
Lumberjack: (Handing
over money) O.K. great ! (Exits)
Announcer: The next day.
Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly)
There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday,
and only cut half as much wood.
Owner : Well, sir, I
have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it
and you give it another try.
Lumberjack: O.K., but
if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back ! (Exits)
Announcer: The next day.
Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted)
This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still it won't
cut half the wood of my old saw ! I want my money back !
Owner : Yes, sir ! Just
let me check it out here. (Pulls starter rope)
Announcer: (Makes sound
effects of saw running.)
Lumberjack: Oh, my gosh
! What on earth is all that noise ?
Cast: Reporter, Editor, toy
gun
Setting: Newsroom
Editor: Okay, you're
new on the job, so I'll give you a tip. You have to go and get a current
story. Something new.
Reporter: Right, boss.
Great news.
Goes out, comes running
back in.
Reporter: Boss! Boss!
Two weeks ago John Doe died falling into a manhole!
Editor: That's old news.
I told you, something more recent.
Reporter: Fine, boss.
Something newer.
Goes out, comes running
back in.
Reporter: Boss! Boss!
A week ago there was fire downtown!
Editor: (A little annoyed.)
That's still old news. Something even more recent.
Goes out, comes running
back in.
Reporter: Boss! Boss!
A car wreck two days ago!
Editor: (Annoyed) No
good! Too old! Something new! That's why they call it news!
Goes out, comes running
back in.
Reporter: Boss! Boss!
Editor of a major newspaper got shot today!
Editor: (Interested)
Oh really? Who?
Reporter: You! (Shoots
him with toy gun, and the editor falls to the ground.)
Setting: Rocket pilot in
cockpit on one side of stage. Ground control with computer on other side.
Rocket Pilot: Mayday!
Mayday! Engine on fire. Mayday!
Ground control: We read
you. Hang in there. We're going to try and lock in on you with our computer.
Rocket Pilot: Well, hurry
up! I can't hold on much longer. I'm surrounded by flames.
Ground Control: O.K.
This is critical. Before you eject -- state your height and position.
Rocket Pilot: Oh, I'm
about 5 foot 6, and I'm sitting down. Bye! (Pretends to push eject button
and jumps out of cockpit.)
One of those skits the
kids can do really easily, but becomes rancid very quick.
Cast: Person with nosebleed,
3 Pedestrians, 4th Pedestrian
Setting: City Street
Nosebleed person is looking
down at the ground. #1 comes in and looks around, then down, and mumbles,
#1: Hmm, what's going
down, man? (No answer.)
#2 walks in, does the same thing, as does #3. #4 walks in, looks up
for a moment, then asks,
#4: What are you guys doing?
Nosebleed: I don't know what these guys are doing, but I've got a nosebleed!
Scout #1 Oh, no!
Scout #2 What's the matter?
Scout #1 whispers to Scout #2. No one hears them.
Scout #2 Oh, no!
Scout #3 What's the matter?
Scout #2 whispers to Scout #3. No one hears them. This continues down
the line.
Second to last Scout, to last Scout Oh, no!
Last Scout What's the matter?
Second to last Scout (Whispers loud enough for everyone to hear) We don't
have a skit!
Everyone exits
Center stage is a lad fishing
from a can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something
on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on,
after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad and asks "What are
you doing there ?" Scout "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm
doing?" Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for." Scout: "I'm
fishing for suckers." Passer by: "Have you caught any?" Scout "Yes you're
the third today!"
The scene is an emergency
room at a hospital. The nurse is totally self absorbed, combing hair,
looking in mirror etc. Whether you have a male nurse or a boy dressed
up like a girl is up to you. A guy runs in, a skier with a pole stuck
in his stomach ( a branch could be used also for a hiker). He is screaming
in agony. the nurse insists that she must ask him some questions before
anything can be done. The patient screams that he is losing blood. The
nurse continues asking questions such as where he lives, past illnesses,
type of house, how he got there etc. A phone rings and a Dr. Killjoy asks
the nurse out to lunch. The nurse runs off leaving the wounded man writhing
on the floor. A stupid looking janitor with a broom wanders by and pulls
the pole out. The patient stands up, says thanks and leaves.
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