The MacScouter's Big Book of Skits

Walk-ons, Run-ons and Other Shorts

The style of a walk-on is simple. A walk-on should in general be pre-arranged with the person who is supposed to be up there talking. If it is not pre-arranged it can be more of a practical joke. While the leader is talking, a Scout walks on stage doing or saying something. The leader responds accordingly, usually in an exasperated way, and the scout then says the groaner punch line.

Table of Contents

The Announcement

A five second gag to put into a loose moment.

Cast: Campfire chief and a volunteer in the audience

Campfire Chief: And now it's time to make a spot announcement. (Dog barks from the audience.) Thank you Spot.

Going to Court

This one is a run on that requires the above-mentioned partner whose been around for years and will be for years more, and good timing. One of the nice things about this one is that you can use as little as two appearances or if necessary, you can expand upon it to other situations involving the wordplay about "case" and court. Another line would be at the beginning where the litigant goes to someone for advice, but they say that they don't have a case, prompting them to go buy a briefcase.

Cast: Campfire Chief, litigant, briefcase
Setting: Campfire

Each time the litigant comes in, the campfire chief is about to announce or close a skit. Requires perfect timing or a chief who is able to blend in the litigant's entries perfectly, or both.

Chief: Hello? I'm trying to introduce the next item? What are you doing here?

Litigant: (coming in with briefcase) Uh, excuse me, but I need to tell you something. My inspection results today were terrible, so I'm going to (lift up briefcase) bring my case to court.

Next appearance, the litigant is crawling on the ground with a flashlight, without the briefcase:

Chief: Oh, it's you again. What are you doing down on the ground?

Litigant: I lost my case! I'm looking for it!

Next appearance, the litigant is up on a table, a high chair, a tall tree stump, in a tree, whatever, carrying his briefcase. He makes noise to get attention, and the chief shines a light on him.

Chief: What are you doing now?

Litigator: I'm bringing my case to a higher court!

Last appearance is a little dangerous. Be careful to have plenty of open space where people won't get hurt, and that the chief is ready for this.

Suddenly the briefcase is flying through the air and the Chief catches it -- if only to protect the audience :) -- and exclaims:

Chief: (Flustered) What's this all about?

Litigator: My case got thrown out of court!

Version 2:

From: Tom Oldershaw

Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.

The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.

1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing. Reply: "I'm taking by case to court". Walks off.

2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher court"

3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them. "I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it).

4. This time, without a case: "I lost my case" [We also "lost the case" by searching all around the stage, cabinets under the stage, near the MC ('scuse me, 'pardon me), under his papers, etc. Then tell him you "lost your case."]

5. Entry with a banana and case: "What are you doing with that banana?" "I am appealing my case!"

6. Next time: Open and close the case as you walk across the stage. When MC asks what you are doing, tell him/her "...it's an open and shut case!"

7. Person enters, case open and inverted. MC asks, "Now what are you doing?" Person replies, "My case got overturned."

Beam Me Up

Scout: Walks on stage, looks around slowly and says, "Scotty! The aliens are very unfriendly!! Quick!! Beam me aboard!!"

Another scout in the audience: THUNK (the sound of a 2x4 landing on stage)

Smoke Signals

1st scout, "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals."
2nd scout ,"Oh yes Mike, what do they say?"
1st scout, pretending to look away through binoculars, says very slowly, "Help... My... Blankets... On... Fire.
1st scout looking back at 2nd scout, "Help my blankets on fire?"

Little Brother

Scout 1: Whatcha doing ?
Scout 2: Writing a letter to my little brother.
Scout 1: Why are you writing so slowly?
Scout 1: Because my little brother can't read very fast!

Squirrels

A quickie goes like this: Persons runs "onstage" screaming "they're after me! They're after me!" MC asks "Who's after you" Person replies "The squirrels, they think I'm nuts"

Its All Around Me!

You need two characters, one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the air, looking desperate and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"

"What? What's all around you?" the first player asks. The other replies,

"My belt, of course!"

Leaving

Player walks across the area scattering handfuls of leaves he takes from a big bag. Another player approaches and asks, "What are you doing?" 1st Player: I'm leaving!

-- Thanks to Brenda Beckett, Owen Sound, Ont.

Pulling String

Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.
One: (walks onto stage area pulling a string big enough to see)
Two:(asks) What are you doing
One: I'm pulling a string
Two: what are you doing that for?
One: Well, have you ever tried to push one?!

All Over Me

Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.
"They're all over me, they're all over me!"
"What's all over you?"
"My clothes!"

Throwing Up

And one more from me...

Walk across the front of the room tossing a ball several inches to a foot up in the air.

Set up a plant in the audience or Cubmaster asks "What are you doing?"

Replies, " I'm throwing up!"

Fire Drill

Through the meeting or campfire, different people run through with some container (cups, buckets, cans, etc). Eventually the MC stops one of them and asks what's going on to which the reply is "your tent (car, house whatever) is on fire". Now when we do it we add a great deal to it depending on the location setting etc. The water carriers ham it up by making it look like a real effort or something very serious. The MC makes some comment to the audience each time one runs through including things like requesting a cup of coffee the next time someone runs through. Sometimes we have people "offstage" cheering the runner through. And sometimes we change the "punch line". Like MC: where's the fire?, runner: there's no fire, so & so is thirsty, at which time someone walks across with a cup and wiping their mouth saying ahhhhhhh. I think you can get the idea from there.

-- Thanks to Hank Heine:

Alien

Alien comes in - traditional "take me to your leader" routine etc. When taken to leader the alien says, "Stop singing, Ging Gang Goolie -- it's our national anthem..."

-- Thanks to Karin O'Neil:

The Ruler

Mike: Why do you keep the ruler on the newspaper when you're reading?

Spike: I want to get the story straight!

I'm a Rabbit

Cub 1: Ask me if I'm a rabbit.
Cub 2: Okay Are you a rabbit?
Cub 1: Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.
Cub 2: Are you a beaver?
Cub 1: No, stupid. I already told you I was a rabbit!

Missed

Scene 1: Guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.

Scene 2: Same guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.

Scene 3: Same guy says. "If I don't get it this time, I'll shoot myself!" Juggles balls. Drops one. Exits (Sound of gunshot)

Same guy re-appears, snaps fingers and says, "Missed!"

Pop Quiz

Teacher: What has five fingers and can be made of leather? Johnny : Eh... I don't know.
Teacher: One glove! Now, what has 10 fingers and can he made of leather?
Johnny : Eh.... I don't know.
Teacher: Two gloves! Now, who is the Governor General of Canada? Johnny : Eh.... Three gloves?

Wait! Wait!

Shopper: Have you any four-volt two-watt bulbs? Clerk : For what?
Shopper: No, four-volt, two-watt.
Clerk : Two what?
Shopper: yes!
Clerk : No.

What a Day

(Three tired looking hikers enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)

Hiker 1: (groans) What a day.
Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.
Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!
Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving! (First two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).

The Nutty Fisherman

Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passer by: "What are you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."
Passer by: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"

Bee Sting

1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH."
2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?"
1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."
2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."
1st scout: "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

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