Short Skits, Walk-ons and One-liners

Table of Contents

Walk-ons

The style of a walk-on is simple. A walk-on should in general be pre-arranged with the person who is supposed to be up there talking. If it is not pre-arranged it can be more of a practical joke. While the leader is talking, a Scout walks on stage doing or saying something. The leader responds accordingly, usually in an exasperated way, and the scout then says the groaner punch line.

Scout: "The squirrels are after me! The squirrels are after me!!"
Leader:"Why on earth would squirrels be after you?"
Scout:"They think I'm nuts!"

Scout: Walks on stage tossing a ball up in the air a foot or two and catching it.
Leader: "What are you doing?"
Scout: "Throwing up!"

Scout: Walks on stage, looks around slowly and says, "Scotty! The aliens are very unfriendly!! Quick!! Beam me aboard!!"
Another scout in the audience: THUNK (the sound of a 2x4 landing on stage)

Scout: Runs up to the leader on stage, starts grabbing at his own clothes, as though he has bugs on him, and says, "They're on me, they're on me!"
Leader: "What's on you."
Scout: "My Clothes!" and walks off stage.

>

The Briefcase

Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.

The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.

1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing.
Reply: "I'm taking my case to court". Walks off.

2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying:
"I'm taking my case to a higher court"

3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them.
"I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it).

4. Final entry, without a case: "I lost my case"

This can of course be expanded. I saw it in a variety show with many other things happening (mostly knock-knock jokes) in turn. Can be good when done properly.

Crazy News Flashes

Today, Lady Blenkinsop Smythe, laid a foundation stone. Both are said to be doing well.

A lorry load of artificial hair has just overturned on the motorway. The police are combing the countryside.

This afternoon, two girl scouts, went for a tramp in the woods. The tramp got away.

A hundred dollar bill has just been found on the campsite. Will the owner, please form an orderly queue outside the mess tent to claim it.

Doctors have just discovered, that people with hairs starting to grow on the palms of their hands are going mad.
PAUSE.
They also tell us that people looking for hairs on the palms of their hands are already mad.

Today thieves broke into the local police station and stole fifty pairs of trousers. The police are looking, pretty silly.

Yesterday a chicken swallowed a yo-yo. It laid the same egg seventy five times.

Here is a late railway announcement. The train now arriving at platforms 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 is coming in sideways.

Will the man who has just left the train standing on platform 5 please come and collect it as we have enough of our own.

Smoke Signals


1st scout "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals"
2nd scout "Oh yes Mike, what do they say?"
1st scout, pretending to look away through binoculars, says very slowly, "Help... My... Blankets... On... Fire.
1st scout looking back at 2nd scout, "Help my blankets on fire

Little Brother

Scout 1: Whatcha doing ?
Scout 2: Writing a letter to my little brother.
Scout 1: Why are you writing so slowly?
Scout 1: Because my little brother can't read very fast!

My Belt

You need two characters, one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the air, looking desperate and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"

"What? What's all around you?" the first player asks. The other replies, "My belt, of course!"

Or even simpler:

One Scout walks on stage while leader is carrying on the meeting, yells, "Help! Help!! It's all around me! It's got me surrounded!!"

Leader says, "What has you surrounded??" Scout says, "My belt!!" and walks off.

The Ruler

Mike: Why do you keep the ruler on the newspaper when you're reading?

Spike: I want to get the story straight!

I'm a Rabbit

Cub 1: Ask me if I'm a rabbit.
Cub 2: Okay Are you a rabbit?
Cub 1: Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.
Cub 2: Are you a beaver?
Cub 1: No, stupid. I already told you I was a rabbit!

Missed

Scene 1: Guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.

Scene 2: Same guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits.

Scene 3: Same guy Says. "If I don't get it this time, I'll shoot myself!" Juggles balls. Drops one. Exits (Sound of gunshot)

Same guy re-appears, snaps fingers and says, "Missed!"

Pop Quiz

Teacher: What has five fingers and can be made of leather? Johnny : Eh... I don't know.
Teacher: One glove! Now, what has 10 fingers and can he made of leather?
Johnny : Eh.... I don't know.
Teacher: Two gloves! Now, who is the Governor General of Canada? Johnny : Eh.... Three gloves?

Wait! Wait!

Shopper: Have you any four-volt two-watt bulbs? Clerk : For what?
Shopper: No, four-volt, two-watt.
Clerk : Two what?
Shopper: yes!
Clerk : No.

What a Day

(Three tired looking hikers enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)

Hiker 1: (groans) What a day.
Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.
Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!
Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving! (First two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).

The Nutty Fisherman

Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passer by: "What are you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."
Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."
Passer by: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"

Bee Sting

1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH."
2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?"
1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."
2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."
1st scout: "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

The Operation

By setting up a white sheet and using a light behind it, a hospital operation can be silhouetted onto the sheet, which is set up like a screen. Ham it up with humorous dialogue, occasionally throwing a peeled tomato or a piece of raw liver or spurt of ketchup out to the audience. A good creative imagination would be an asset here.

The Dead Body

Number of Participants: 2

Scene: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where ? .... Un, (looking for a sign), "I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it ?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g,," (confused), "Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm !"

Good Soup

Props: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop. A chef's hat would also be useful.
Announcer: This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.
(Several boys are seated around a large pot, sampling the imaginary contents with the spoons.)

Scott: Boy, this is sure good soup.
Brad : Yep, it's got REAL flavor.
David: Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.
Matthew: Oh yeah. It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.
Cook: (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys ! Get out of my mop water!!!

Fly in the Soup

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter: (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh, yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents for the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter: (Still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn't know it's a fly, sir. It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !


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